‘EVAN’ is in psychotherapy. He has agreed to collaborate, from time to time, with Porn Recovery UK about his process of working with a 30-year porn habit. Here’s his second blog.
I dreamed about sex. I think I must be scared that I’m giving up all of sex – not just porn. It’s 8.50am now, and I feel bad tempered. I’ve just woken up, and the girls have already gone out shopping. Normally, this would be a great chance to masturbate to Internet porn. But I’m sticking to my resolution. Every time I think about porn I say to myself, ‘I’m not doing that at the moment.’
I decided to get up and write an entry. I want to write how much I love Jessica and my girls – Lucy and Maxine. I feel more comfortable writing this here and talking about my issues in therapy than I do with Jessica, though. I realise that there is still a lot for us to sort out since she discovered what I’d been up to on the Internet. I wish we were back together sleeping in the same bed.
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