‘I really can’t believe I sat down next to you today. I really can’t believe this just happened to me. I want to tell you that the Lord led me here today. I see this and I’m kinda shocked right now. I’m going to tell you something I haven’t told anyone before but my life has been tormented by.
‘I’m a youth pastor (he was college age). I have many young people who look up to me, and who I am supposed to be a leader and good example for. Many of them have come to me about this subject. I know many young people who are struggling with their porn use and I haven’t been able to help them. I can’t help them because I’m struggling with the same problem and I don’t know what to do.
‘I’ve needed to talk to someone about this. I use porn regularly. I try to stay away from it but I always end up going back to it. Many of my friends use it and everyone acts like it’s no big deal but it bothers me and I think it affects all our lives negatively. I feel like something’s wrong with me. I feel like such a hypocrite and I want to talk to someone, get counselling, but I’m a youth pastor. How do I get help without losing my passion to lead my peers? I’m afraid to tell someone because I’m afraid they will judge me and take away my role. It’s my dream to lead young people. I’m so tormented and I feel so alone.’
Well, you can imagine how the rest of that talk went that day. I’m not a counsellor and I don’t try to be one, but I am a mother. I do know how to be that so well, my kids bring their friends to me for guidance. The fact that this young man was able to talk to me when he had found no other he could trust with his deep, dark secret, told me we were both led there that day to that cool, inviting bench, to have this talk.
I spent the rest of our time explaining to him how much he is NOT alone. I was able to tell him about all of the men’s support groups who follow my work to help others understand pornography is not a victimless crime. I was able share with him all the discussions I’ve had with other youth leaders to give him comfort in the knowledge there were others already breaking ground on creating programmes for him and those like him to not only follow to heal themselves but to also take out into the world and share with others to free them from these chains of addiction as well.
Just as I was running out of information to share and he was emotionally spent from his confessions, the walkers began to return and it was time to get back to our booths. Before we got up though, that courageous young man texted his personal church adviser, explaining he had to meet with him right away to deal with a major personal issue conflicting with his faith. He also was going to start a new programme in their youth group and he would need a lot of support and guidance from his leaders. He was about to go public with his addiction. He was not only going to save himself but also fight for others just like him.
That day on that bench in the shade, that young man found the will to take back not only freedom for himself but for others as well. We must understand that the largest group of victims created from pornography is the entire human species. We are all harmed from its degradation and destruction of humanity so we must all stand together in order to defeat its hold on our entire world!
I commend those who are battling porn and sex addiction to get back to themselves and to take back their own lives as much as I commend those who fight this battle on behalf of those harmed. Your addiction has been your training grounds for becoming unwitting soldiers in the battle to save us all from the harms pornography is doing to all of our societies.
By seeking help, you’ve taken that first and most important step towards recovering your personal freedom. I want men to know, as a former pornstar: while I fight against you as a consumer of porn, I am also standing there right beside you, helping to fight for your freedom from the addiction that afflicts you. I will always be there fighting for you as much as with you or against you. I do so because I love you and I know you are just as much victims of the harms pornography produces as I was by working inside the porn industry.
Please visit www.PornintheValley.com for more on Desi’s story and to learn more about the harms of pornography. Porn Valley sells you fantasies. At www.PornintheValley.com, you get the truth about porn for free.
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